10 January 2019

10 Days Entering 2019 & I Fucked Up

Selamat Tahun Baru 2019.

Dah 10 hari memegang usia 31 tahun, aku mula rasa down. Again and again. 31 tahun dan masih tak tahu nak jadi apa. 31 tahun dan masih kelam kabut mencari kerja. 31 tahun dan masih blur.

Chill. Everyone has their own pace.

True. Tapi bila di usia begini, kawan-kawan semua macam dah settle down, ada family dan anak-anak, kerja dah secure, dan aku tengah stress kalau tiba-tiba aku tak ada kerja.

Kenapa tiba-tiba? Sebab aku kerja dengan retired prof / subject consultant yang kerja based on project. Dan sekarang ni aku tengah siapkan project last (I guess) sebab dia macam dah tak nak ambik project lain. So within this week or next week might be my last day to work with him.

Aku sendiri sedar aku kena prepare tapi tulah. Takut. Down. Loser. Semua menjadi satu. Rasa macam bodoh sangat.

Kan?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

To be honest,, I think this iz yr panic attack..maybe slame ni u always in yr comfort zone. I already face the same problem years ago... i have to flashback wht im doin all this time,.. I look fr a new job but its take a time to build maself but now im glad 4 wht i hv now.,,

Smtimes we hv to look back on ourself,, I myhself always think dat Im not good enough, all the besz

Amal said...

Whoever you are, thank you. Thank you so much!